Alcohol at Work

Here are some pretty solid reasons why alcohol should be served at work...

It's an incentive to show up.

It leads to more honest communications.

It reduces complaints about low pay.

Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

It encourages car pooling.

Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

It makes fellow employees look better.

It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.

It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.

Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

Sitting "bare ***" on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."

Not having to worry about your wife being mad when you come home wasted - its your job!

Any sick days taken would be completely genuine.

you can take longer and more frequent bathroom breaks.

"Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear."

This one is the only fly in the ointment I see! most bosses I've had don't really want to know...

Besides my 9-5 job, I'm also a free-lance musician, so a bit of drinking on the job is not unheard of! (Although no-one will hire you if you have a reputation for drinking too much. Luckily, I have no worries - I don't like to play while intoxicated.) :D

An old sargeant once told me that if I was going to drink on the job to always drink bourbon or scotch. I said that I thought you should drink vodka so no one could smell it. He said heck no son, you want them to smell it. That way they know you are drunk and not just stupid. They can fire you for being stupid but if you are drunk they got to give you councelling.

Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.

Now there's a double-edged sword. :p That could be a sobering incentive!

Listen to the SGT He knows of what he speaks. :D :D :D :D
Of course he may have a Saturday or Sunday party for you to attend with the grounds keepers. :p :D :D

(From an old Sgt.)