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  #1  
Old 12-11-2012, 09:45 AM
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Old & new blondes


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DISNEYLAND
Two blondes were going to Disneyland . They were driving on the Interstate when they saw the sign that said Disneyland LEFT. They started crying and turned around and went home.

FLORIDA OR MOON
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

CAR
TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'

SPEEDING TICKET

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor.. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night... It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'

FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs'
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:15 AM
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Location: Tipton Ind.
Posts: 350
I have no words for this. Lou
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Old 12-11-2012, 10:40 AM
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Join Date: May 2007
Location: Benton, LA
Posts: 5,031
I am glad I married a brunette.
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Old 12-11-2012, 01:09 PM
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Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,510
Will have to relate those in the morning .... my wife IS a blonde, but after 50yrs she has a sense of humour .....needs it with me around all that time :-)
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Old 12-11-2012, 07:30 PM
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Location: Ohio
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Good ones always like good jokes.
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Old 12-12-2012, 05:57 AM
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"Bad Joke Friday" Dan (moderator)
 
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Location: Iowa
Posts: 7,411
Classics.....always appreciated the "logical" blonde jokes.
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Old 12-12-2012, 08:15 AM
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Location: Benton, LA
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My wife may be a brunette and very smart but she was certainly born without a sense of humor....
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Old 12-12-2012, 09:33 AM
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Those little ditties are destined for the notice board iof the ladies locker room in my wifes golf club. She knows of one or two blondes in there without a sense of humour :-)
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Old 12-12-2012, 10:16 AM
DOK DOK is offline
"Bad Joke Friday" Dan (moderator)
 
Join Date: May 2001
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jodum View Post
My wife may be a brunette and very smart but she was certainly born without a sense of humor....
I must have married her twin sister....
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  #10  
Old 12-13-2012, 12:38 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
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My wife and youngest daughter are both blondes. Yes, its true that blondes have more fun.

TR
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