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-   -   Want to feel smarter??? (http://www.shootersforum.com/humor/89117-want-feel-smarter.html)

DOK 01-09-2014 06:25 PM

Want to feel smarter???
 
(oldie but goodie)

-- If you ever feel a little bit stupid,
just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius..
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was
selected as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should
not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we
would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not
live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving
kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny
like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,


"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson
for federal anti-smoking campaign
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part
of my body,"
--Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky
basketball forward.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Outside of the killings, Washington has
one of the lowest crime rates in the country,"
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC
. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to
death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas .
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.."
--Al Gore, Vice President
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"I love California . I practically grew
up in Phoenix ."
-- Dan Quayle
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean
air do we need?"
--Lee Iacocca
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,


"The word "genius" isn't applicable in
football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports
analyst.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,


"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,


"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March
1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you.
You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville , South Carolina
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,
"Traditionally, most of Australia 's imports come
from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this
jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout
the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a
record."
-- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, ,,,,,,

Feeling smarter yet?

Send it on to
Your brilliant friends.




I just did !!

StretchNM 01-09-2014 07:05 PM

Outstanding! I saved those.... (:D)

Sus Scrofa 01-10-2014 02:42 AM

Had to print those off. I have some clever friends coming for lunch on Sunday :-)

MontyF 01-10-2014 07:22 AM

It's amazing people who command such respect can say such stupid things.

You are right, I feel smarter already!!! :D

So Dakota 01-10-2014 07:58 AM

The Prime Minister of Canada once said,

"I don't understand why the environmentalists get upset by using salt on the road, it just melts the ice and snow then it disappears."

JigMaster 01-10-2014 08:50 AM

I'm not sure if I feel more smarter or more scareder. Some of these people are making decisions for us.:eek:

mike2010 01-20-2014 07:01 AM

The prez stated we now have 57 states.??? :confused:

Cactus 01-20-2014 07:57 PM

Reminds me of a hunting, fishing trip I did with a mate of mine, another 4wd was to follow us about an hour behind. My mate and I set up camp, and three hours later the others arrived. The usual stuff where have you been on the grog or chasing flesh. He said we had a flat tyre about three thirds of the way here. He is as thick Sundays custard.


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