Rob, Nice to meet you. I can certainly relate with what you are going through. My dad was/still is an ordained Baptist minister, I have seen too many times when he was troubled by the churches, the association, and members of the church.They managed to drive him away for nearly 25 years.That's how/when I came to the opinion if this is what it is like to be a Christian I can do without. He is now a member of a Non-denominational church, and is very happy.
I, Myself however, I fell completely away from God for a long time, I did some stupid things, became involved in some things"clubs" i wish I had never done. However that is the past. If God can forgive me, then in time I can too.
For a long time my wife and I both had a craving, longing, hunger however you want to look at it. That just could not be filled with anything else.
I had a serious back injury, i dealt with the pain through alot of pain medicine, all prescription. 2 surgeries, I was looking for a wheelchair. things were tough.
Finally I went to the Lord in prayer, there were many others praying for me that I knew nothing about, immediatly I could see results, I could stand better, taller, longer. The pain started seriously going away. I have always had a high tolerance for pain, but then it was really going away. One night I had a dream, my wife and I were walking down a dirt road, there was a crowd of people, we walked into the crowd to see what was going on, the crowd parted, and Jesus rubbed my upper left arm and said, No more pain. Even in my dream I could feel the pain just going away. It just faded right out. i have been able to do things I had not been able to do in 6 years. will never be as strong as I use to be. I will never be a towboater again, and I do miss it.
But this could only be explained as the Lord's work!
We live in a small rural community, our church regurarly has between 35-45 people. It feels real, down to earth. It is not a fashion show. We checked out many different churches. But none of them actually felt like home.
I like some of the old traditions, I do not like the screaming bible thumpers, begging you to give your life to the Lord. And all your money. Either way it is for the wrong reason.
We just finally found home, Now it is looking like we will have to leave it so I will be able to find work. sometime within the next year or sooner, this will be hard.
However, I know we will be able to find another church home. As long as you can feel the Lord in the church, you know you are home.
I hope this has helped anyone looking, or waiting to find a church home. It is never too late.
John